


Work hard, be perfect

by ElectricGhost14



Series: Stray Kids One Shots [6]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Overworking, PLEASE DONT READ IF EATING DISORDERS TRIGGER YOU, Sad Yang Jeongin | I.N, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric, this was meant to be ot9 but i forgot half way through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 20:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21185168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricGhost14/pseuds/ElectricGhost14
Summary: Jeongin just wanted to be perfect for his Hyung’s but perfect was always just out of his reach.PLEASE DONT READ IF EATING DISORDERS MAY TRIGGER YOU!





	Work hard, be perfect

**Author's Note:**

> So I may have not written or posted anything since February, whoops.

It started out reasonable, Jeongin was determined to lose the baby fat that plagued him, it wasn’t exactly surprising. He was 17, and the youngest so it wasn’t a big deal that he still had baby fat. His Hyung’s would say that his features were chiseling out nicely with a defined jawline and prominent cheek bones that his Hyung’s weren’t afraid to press gentle kisses too in the late hours of the night when Jeongin was too tired to protest about the affection. 

He didn’t do much, he cut back on the fatty foods, ate more of the vegetables that Woojin piled up on his plate and even decided to tag along with Felix when he went to the gym and his Hyung’s didn’t think much of it. Jeongin was a growing boy surrounded by a lot of pressure so who would question the fact that he started going to the gym. In fact, JYP encouraged it.

It didn’t end at that though, the more Jeongin worked at losing the fat, the more he found, first it was his face, then his stomach and his legs and his arms and any of his flesh that he could slightly grab. 

He started to eat less at meals, sometimes skipping them entirely; claiming he was too tired, or he would take a plate to his room telling his Hyung’s that he was behind on school work. 

They never questioned for two reasons, the first being that it was no secret balancing school life and being an idol was never going to be the easiest thing and Jeongin was known for keeping to himself, the more his Hyung’s pressed the further into his shell he retreated. 

So Jeongin kept this up for a good few months, skipping meals or eating as little as possible till he came across the idea of throwing up what he did eat after meals as to not gain any weight at all. This meant he could avoid the worried glances of his Hyung’s when he ate only a few vegetables before claiming he was full and excusing himself from the table.

He found more websites that encouraged people to stop eating and advised them on how to be thin, such tricks as turning on the water when throwing up as to not be heard or drinking water when the nagging feeling of hunger erupted in your stomach. 

It wasn’t long before it had fully spiraled out of control and Jeongin wasn’t sure how to stop, he could hear Hyunjin comment on how tiny he had gotten and how see how Woojin was desperately trying to put more food on his plate at dinner, how Jisung gave him snacks at practice and Chan shooting him looks every time he took his plate of food upstairs only for it to end up in the bin.

His Hyung’s were aware that something was going on with their maknae, but it wasn’t till he collapsed that they realised just how bad it had gotten.

It was a Wednesday and stray kids had a busy day, Seungmin had vocal practice, 3racha were in the studio working on some new songs, Hyunjin, Minho and Felix were going through some new choreography and Woojin and Jeongin were with the choreographer going over some moves that the oldest and youngest were yet to get down. Woojin was going to try get Jeongin to open up but that plan had gone out the window as the younger had fallen asleep on the way to the studio and by the time they got there, they were being ushered in as to not waste any time. 

Everyone would be joining them in the dance studio at 12 for group dance practice and Woojin knew that there would be no opportunity to talk to Jeongin before then, so he simply kept an eye on the younger as they went through the moves again and again and again until the two had it down. The choreographer called it to an end seeing as they had 15 minutes before the others got there, Jeongin sat down next to have a drink of water, Woojin joining him. 

They sat in relative silence for the first 10 minutes, both resting before practice started again. Jeongin avoiding any questions that Woojin had attempted to throw his way, either with excuses or just changing the subject.

With only five minutes of their break left, Jeongin stood up and began to stretch, Woojin just looked at Jeongin. He could see how his clothes hung off him and he beginning to realise that trying to talk to Jeongin individually wasn’t going to work and after practice they all had to have a proper sit down to discuss this with him.

He knew he wasn’t the only one to attempt to talk to Jeongin, he’d seen Hyunjin and Felix try to corner Jeongin about it a few days ago but Jeongin had slipped off claiming he had to finish some homework.

Minho had tried talking to him before dance practice yesterday, but the choreographer had started talking, interrupting Minho enough for Jeongin to move away and for the practice to officially start.

Woojin was sure that the others had probably also tried to talk to the youngest with about the same results as he had had, avoidance of the subject and Jeongin slipping away.

Everyone was coming into the dance studio now so Woojin knew he wouldn’t be able to attempt to talk to Jeongin for a few hours now, but he did decide that he would tell Chan that they needed to all sit down with Jeongin because this couldn’t go on any longer.

Jeongin knew that soon they’d want talk to him, he hadn’t missed the secret glances or the long stares examining him, he hadn’t missed how every so often someone would try an corner him or force him to sit with them at dinner or breakfast (lunch wasn’t really a set thing in the idol industry) but he had tried his best to avoid them, to ignore the stares. Convincing himself that he should be thinner and then they would be proud of him, then the fact his voice wasn’t as good as Seungmin or Woojin’s wouldn’t matter because he’d be beautiful, so he’d be contributing something but right now he was a horrible singer and fat. 

Just a few more pounds and he’d be perfect, it wouldn’t just take much, he’d go to dinner tonight to throw them off, but he’d only eat small portions and he’d throw it all up after, little did he know that he wouldn’t last till dinner.

Group practice started, they were going over the choreography for Miroh, they’d gone through it twice as a whole and now were just looking over what needed to be adjusted, Jeongin came to his first part in the centre and he felt things go blurry, he couldn’t make out anything and the sides of his vision were going dark. He stopped dancing and tried to blink it away, he shook his head, which only increased the nausea that had built. Before he could even sit down, Jeongin had collapsed onto the floor in a heap. Jisung managed to get to him before his head hit the floor, Chan telling the choreographer to call an ambulance and Hyunjin trying to get Jeongin to stay conscious. 

Jeongin’s vision was getting worse, he could make out a few blurry shapes and colours but soon the black took over and the last thing he heard was Woojin saying that the ambulance was on its way.

When Jeongin came to, he woke to the sound of machines beeping in his ear and the hushed whispers of his Hyung’s. He opened his eyes, squinting them as the light was so bright but the moment, he had stirred one of his Hyung’s as called a doctor and he had promptly been smothered in hugs and apologies.

“Give him some space guys”, he recognised the voice of Woojin as he opened his eyes properly and propped himself up, allowing the pillow behind him to be adjusted by Hyunjin and his body to be supported by Felix from the other side of the bed.

Once he was sitting up, he could see his Hyung’s all sat round the bed, with equally worried expressions on their faces, he instantly felt guilty that he made them worry, really there was nothing wrong he just hadn’t been feeling great.

The doctor came in before he could think any more about it,

“Hello Jeongin, are you feeling any better”, Jeongin just nodded, not trusting himself to not start crying from the pounding headache he had if he opened his mouth.

“That’s good, you were only out an hour or two due to dehydration and malnutrition, so we have given you a drip for now and you will have to stay here for a few more hours before we can let you go” The doctor look around at the other 8 people in the room who were listening intently to what the doctor had to say,

“Your manager is just talking to another doctor about further help and treatment for your malnutrition and with come up with a diet plan you will have to follow in order to return your body to a healthy weight. I’ll leave you to talk to your members” the doctor left the room and once the door closed the silence felt overwhelming as the others looked at him. He felt himself cowering under the gazes but soon the silence was interrupted by Minho speaking,

“Why weren’t you eating?”, the question was direct and made Jeongin felt sick but no one protested about the bluntness as they were all thinking the same thing, he felt Hyunjin grab his hand and lean towards him.

Jeongin looked down, he hadn’t ever doubted what he was doing until now, until his Hyung’s had found out, now it felt like what he was doing wasn’t as good as he thought it was.

Jeongin began to speak and felt tears build up in his eyes, as he admitted what had held him captive in his own mind for so long,

“I wanted to be good enough for you, I wanted to be perfect”, his voice was quiet and broke halfway through, Jeongin wasn’t even sure if they had heard him but at the sound of Jisung’s sob, they had. Chan moved closer to the bed and slowly gathered Jeongin into a hug, 

“You’ve always been perfect for us, you’re our maknae, our perfect maknae.”, Jeongin felt his body go slack in the leader’s arms and he snuggled closer as he felt the tears fall down his face.

The rest of the members moved closer and soon he was surrounded by those who loved him most, he felt safe, he felt loved and maybe with some support, he could feel good enough.


End file.
